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SATIRE: Letter to the editor – An apology to the state of Texas from the students of Midwestern State University

Soma Snikrep, satire specialist February 28, 2021

Dear Editor (and the state of Texas), It is with a heavy heart and guilty minds that we write this. As you may or may not have noticed, there was a  pretty significant amount of snow two weeks ago...

An example of someone being friend zoned (Part 4)

SATIRE: Friend-zoned students across the globe celebrate “Pal-entine’s Day”

Soma Snikrep, satire specialist February 15, 2021

Feb. 15, 2021, marks the first time heartbroken people around the world will be celebrating "Pal-entine's Day" with their crushes, the day after their unrequited loves spent Valentine's Day with their...

protest sign

Satire: COVID-19 cancels every major event EXCEPT final exams

November 24, 2020

As 2020 finally rounds to a close, we've seen a wide plethora of major events canceled in hopes of preventing the spread of COVID-19. For some universities, this has even lead to the cancellation of in-person...

Goose vs Squirrel

Coverage of the MSU animal debates

October 23, 2020

Sikes Lake on Monday, Oct. 13 at 7 p.m. saw a fierce presidential debate that featured squawking, constant interruption and absolute chaos between two figures deemed by political experts to be "unfit to...

Gooseman

Satire: The Gooseman of Sikes Lake

Soma Snikrep, esteemed journalist October 16, 2020

As the days of October dwindle, the students of MSU have turned their attention to Halloween. Unbeknownst to many of the young Mustangs preparing for spooky season, a true terror lies at the bottom of...

Fall sports to resume 2020 season via Zoom

Amos Perkins, Managing Editor September 17, 2020

For heartbroken Mustangs fans, your anguish has come to an end as the NCAA Division II committee announced that Fall 2020 sports will be returning, albeit with a social distancing twist. Collegiate athletes...

Voting

College Students who refused to vote baffled as to why their candidate didn’t win

September 1, 2020

*The following article was written after the results of the 2020 U.S. presidential election, and was sent backwards to the present staff of The Wichitan through a reverse time capsule* College students...

OPINION: Change the channel!

Christian Oseguera, Reporter May 25, 2020

*Columns are the opinions of their respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wichitan as an organization.* It seems that all families keep the TV on one channel for the entire...

Crazy things to do in quarantine

Christian Oseguera, Reporter May 24, 2020

It’s suggested that everyone continues to practice safe social distancing. "Don’t hang out with large groups of people. In fact, don’t hang out with anyone outside your family," they say.  The healthcare...

The season for tornado watching

Christian Oseguera, Reporter May 23, 2020

Buckle up folks! Tornado season is upon us! This means there may be more destruction caused towards you than what your ex did! Better hop on and jump on those trampolines before they get blown away and...

Fake News

The Wichitan apologizes for fake news

Amos Perkins, Managing Editor April 30, 2020

The Wichitan would like to apologize sincerely and profusely for the spreading of the "fake news" in this article: UN declares 2020 over. In this article we reported that March would mark the start of...

UN Secretary of Panic

UN declares 2020 ‘over’ after just two months

Amos Perkins, Managing Editor March 3, 2020

Due to the incredibly long and horrific nature of the first two months of the year 2020, scientists and politicians at a recent United Nations summit have declared the year is over and 2021 will arrive...

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