The Wichitan

Change the channel!

Christian Oseguera, Reporter

May 25, 2020

It seems that all families keep the TV on one channel for the entire day. Sometimes I go off on my walks wondering, will they have changed the channel by the time I come back? The answer is no more often than not. What can I do to fix this? Nothing. I can only hope for the best. Never will I ever wan...

Crazy things to do in quarantine

Christian Oseguera, Reporter

May 24, 2020

It’s suggested that everyone continues to practice safe social distancing. "Don’t hang out with large groups of people. In fact, don’t hang out with anyone outside your family," they say.  The healthcare system knows what’s best for us, but we know what’s even better. Go out there and enj...

The season for tornado watching

Christian Oseguera, Reporter

May 23, 2020

Buckle up folks! Tornado season is upon us! This means there may be more destruction caused towards you than what your ex did! Better hop on and jump on those trampolines before they get blown away and who knows when you’ll see them next. They may even go to the county that’s next to you! Head over...

The Wichitan apologizes for fake news

Fake News

Amos Perkins, Managing Editor

April 30, 2020

The Wichitan would like to apologize sincerely and profusely for the spreading of the "fake news" in this article: UN declares 2020 over. In this article we reported that March would mark the start of 2021, but as we enter the heart of April it has become painfully obvious that 2020 is still here. ...

Students choose XFL over democratic debates

XFL Satire

Amos Perkins, Managing Editor

February 18, 2020

College students around the nation opted to watch the new XFL football league over the democratic presidential candidate debates.  When college students had to choose between learning more about what leaders might be running their country or watching a semi-professional football league filled with wa...

How steroids will save the world

Biff McBuff, Steroid Expert

October 30, 2019

                        Some steroids create better focus, some increase endurance, some increased strength and some increase how the muscles breathe. We've seen how amazing the human body and mind can be when using such subst...

Dogs should have equal rights

Dog in Uncle Sam hat

Kristin Silva, Managing Editor

October 16, 2019

Many dog owners consider their fur-babies to be part of their family. According to businessinsider.com, some people would even say they love their dog more than other humans. Because of this fact alone, dogs deserved to have equal rights just like humans. People easily can spot the difference betw...

“We have a voice too!” -The Geese

Randall Swimmington

Kristin Silva, Editor-in-flock

October 2, 2019

According to the humans, Sept. 29 was "Goose Day" and the day was celebrated with a video of how people felt about us geese around campus. Well, we have a voice too.   Steve Flippers, associate squawk of organized street-crossing, said he was both flattered and appalled at the responses g...

1200 gather to mourn the loss of Jeremy

Caleb Martin

March 7, 2017

SATIRE Like the feeling that accompanies eating the last extra fry found at the bottom of a McDonald's to-go bag, students were grief-stricken as they remembered Jeremy, the beloved and most personable squirrel on campus. Jeremy's carcass was found flattened like a well-tenderized flank steak at t...

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