People have been called cowards, wimps, and so many other insults just because they wanted to end their life. But people don’t want to die for attention. It is just to stop the pain. I know from experience.
No matter a person’s situation, their wealth, the smiles that hide their true feelings away, anyone can be depressed and suicidal.
I was a freshman in high school. I was doing extracurricular activities. I was in advanced classes, Boy Scouts, and much more. I started dating and got into a very serious relationship for someone my age. I didn’t understand my body or even how to manage my time with school, my girlfriend, or my home life. I quickly over-exerted myself.
Things started becoming heated in my mind and I went on a downward spiral. I don’t know what was going through my head but all I knew was that I wanted to end my pain. I snapped one day and decided that I needed to rid the world of Christopher McGehee. I went outside and hung myself from a tree, but luckily the tree branch snapped and I was saved.
I was spared, but I still wanted to die, looking past the obvious sign that it wasn’t my time to go. I was admitted into the mental hospital known as The Pavilion. I hid my true self from the doctors. Acted as the puppet I needed to be to get out of that dreadful place. I was set free a week and a half after admittance.
A few months flew by and I attempted suicide again. I was then admitted to the NIX in San Antonio. I was there for a week. I was put on the right meds and was on my way. Still, I didn’t know who I was, what my purpose was.
When I came back to school, things started changing for the better. My head football coach, Jimmy Randolph, would ask me everyday if I was okay, if my day was going alright, or if I’d like to talk to him about anything. He impacted me because he truly cared for me.
I knew he was a Christian and I wanted to be one, too. I started going to church, started getting more involved, and then one day I knew it was my time to become a follower of Jesus Christ. Not even a year after my suicidal attempts, I was baptized in the name of the Lord, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. October 21, 2012, I became who I was supposed to be.
Suicide will always be a sensitive subject, but don’t put someone down because they are suicidal. Lift them up and help them in any way possible. Show them why life is worth living. Share a helping hand. I know it may not seem like much, but every little thing helps a person that is in need.
Depression and anxiety from MWSU Campus Watch on Vimeo.
Read the rest of the mental health series articles:
Under Pressure: Anxiety is more common than you think
Suicide prevention training hits close to home
On-campus psychology clinic offers free counseling
Counselors: Nothing is off limits
Column: The best and worst day of my life
Depression and anxiety from MWSU Campus Watch on Vimeo.
