OPINION: Things men need to stop doing
*Columns are the opinions of their respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wichitan as an organization.*
All men are trash, and nobody can convince me otherwise. The past couple of weeks I have been frequently asked why I believe so; so here are some categories that all men fall into that make them trash.
Sexualizing/Fetishizing Women: Women are sexualized in any and every form despite what we are wearing, how we look or who we are. Yet, men will still find an excuse to say it is because women are “provoking” them. I can name it all. A few things I and other women have experienced:
“Latinas are freaky”,
Accent: “That is so sexy, I wonder how you would sound screaming my name.”
Hair: “I want my babies to have your hair, it’s so long and curly.”
To being sexualized for my petite figure and height, (I won’t go into detail). Stop saying things like this to women. It is harassment, and it is disgusting.
Blaming Women: Let’s take the phrase ‘homewrecker’ for example. Why is it that in cheating scandals the woman involved is viewed as a monstrous conniving human being and has to hold almost the entire weight of the situation? What about the man, as in, the one that is more responsible for the actions that took place? Last time I checked, he is the one that needs to be loyal to the woman he is in a relationship with, regardless of the number of temptations. This is just the beginning, keep in mind the multiple cases in which women have been raped, sexually assaulted and verbally harassed, but the question, “Well what was she wearing?” or “What was she doing for that to happen to her?” I am sick of hearing that women need to dress a certain way, speak a certain way [and] act a certain way to be respected; the whole “How is a man going to respect you and love you correctly if –”, if what? Women should be respected because they are human beings.
Saying how women should be: We all at least know one of these: “I want a woman that takes care of herself and knows how to cook and clean,” these are the same men that do not even know how to do laundry, much less wipe their bums correctly.
Misogyny: Despite how many men deny that they are misogynists, here are some common misogynists comments and thoughts that almost every man has committed:
- Thinking women are soft, meek and in need of command.
- Women’s sole purpose in life is to please men.
- Women who do not want children are selfish.
- Women who do not want to get married are difficult.
- Women who do not want to have sex are prudes.
- Women who do not party and drink are boring and lame.
- A woman should not lead.
- Women are rehabilitation centers for broken men.
- Women do not deserve equal pay.
- Women are less.
Double Standard: As I’ve gotten older, the more I’ve realized that girls are trained to not hold men accountable for their “manly” animalistic traits. Why is it that I get in trouble for wearing a shirt that may show my belly button because I have that one cousin or uncle around? Back to blaming women, in our culture, we are taught that it is our fault instead of telling those cousins and uncles to stop being creeps. The same goes for the dress code, I’m from Panama, which is right on the equator – it’s hot. I used to get dress coded numerous amount of times in high school, and each time was always told it was because I would distract the boys in my class. Why don’t we just teach boys how to control themselves – women are taught how to control themselves in almost every situation, so why not men?
Feeling entitled: If I look nice, say it, and I will say thank you back. I am not obligated to continue the conversation with you, likewise, just because I go on a date with you does not mean I am obligated to sleep with you. And no, you do not have the right to get upset at that. Women are not ATMs where when you put something in, you get something out. We are not obligated to do anything.
These are just a few to a long list that makes men trash, if you fall into any of these categories, correct yourself.
Hello! My name is Thalia Doe, and I am the Feature editor of The Wichitan. I am a Spanish and Mass Communication senior with a minor in broadcast journalism....
Vanessa Quintero • Aug 24, 2022 at 12:51 PM
I understand your points and your feelings because as a woman I have lived it too. The only difference is that in my experience it wasn’t the men who were misogynistic, it was the women. I’m in a consensual relationship with two men, but the women in my classroom keep calling me a slut. If I were a man, I would never have been called that. I would have been congratulated for having two women by my side.
The men in my classroom didn’t care about my relationship, and I never heard them insult me. Misogyny is not synonymous with man.
Literally an hour ago I heard my aunt say that a woman stole her partner, even though he has been unfaithful to her before.
Arthur • Aug 24, 2022 at 12:38 PM
Women are even blamed for pregnancies, as if a we men are not needed to do it. They tell them, “You shouldn’t have spread your legs.” But I have never been told, “You shouldn’t have put your penis in.”
The man who knows how to respect, would respect a woman regardless of her wardrobe. But since they don’t know how to do it, they look for excuses and the sad thing is that society accepts them. My life is not easy, but I will always be grateful to be a man.
Arthur • Aug 24, 2022 at 11:52 AM
As a man, the alleged misandry hasn’t affected me in the slightest. In the other hand, misogony has the power to end women’s lives. In college I had classmates who said, “I hate men,” but they never lifted a finger to attack us. I have had colleagues who claimed to hate women and wanted to commit crimes against them. There is an abysmal difference between the impact of misandry and misogyny.
On the internet there are hundreds of sites for misogynists. I know of none dedicated to misandry.
It is ironic that denouncing misogyny is seen as exaggeration, while denouncing misandry is seen as a noble act.
I’m glad to be a man. Women have been abused for hundreds of years, and we men can’t stand to hear that they hate us. ¡Ja,ja,ja!
Leonardo Bazail • Aug 9, 2022 at 9:00 PM
Makes me wish I was born a woman sometimes. Smh men are such pigs and treat women awfully.
Arthur • Aug 24, 2022 at 12:32 PM
I agree. As a father I have made the mistake of teaching my daughter how not to be raped, but I have never told my son that he shouldn’t rape a woman. I didn’t let my daughter have a boyfriend. But my son does, and he’s going to be a teen dad soon. My misogyny caused me to make mistakes. I am committed to change.
Kevin • Mar 11, 2022 at 8:46 PM
Misandry at it’s finest. You are going to sit there and tell me women don’t sexualize men? You would be a liar. Talk about blaming, if a man cheats it’s his fault and if a woman cheats it’s also his fault. Women need to take accountability. See when women cheat, they have to get emotionally attached. So when a woman cheats it is planned out. Double standards, haha. Women believe No means No, unless a man says it. A women can attack a men and if he says no she will jump his bones or call him gay. This is misandry hidden behind the word feminism. I grew up in the 70’s and watched my lesbian aunt fight for women’s rights. I know what real feminism looks like.
Arthur • Aug 24, 2022 at 12:05 PM
Yes, we men are also sexualized, but we are not treated as sluts, hoes, whores and other pejoratives when we upload semi-nude images on social networks or when we go out shirtless. Jason Derulo has dozens of images in boxers in which his penis is marked. I usually read the comments, but I never find any user who says that he is denigrating himself. They won’t tell he is a whore, hoe or slut. But if he were a woman, the insults would not take long to appear, which is misogyny. I could say I’ve slept with five women this week, but I won’t be humiliated for it. If I were a woman, I would be humiliated and told that I have no value. Do not pretend that women and men have the same gender problems. Political rights are one issue and social perception is another. Accept reality and motivate yourself to change.
Brad • Jan 31, 2022 at 11:49 PM
Men don’t think like this lol.
Emma • Jan 11, 2022 at 10:16 PM
Love this post!Thank you👍🏻
Emma • Jan 11, 2022 at 10:13 PM
Love this post.Speaks my mind!
Average Cabbage • Sep 29, 2021 at 8:15 PM
Yes, Men are trash.
Women are trash, too.
All of these points apply to everybody, no matter the gender.
13inches • Mar 19, 2022 at 9:11 PM
Thank you!
Ariana • Sep 24, 2021 at 6:39 AM
Men have hate pages specially for women/girls being girls. They are extremely sexist without even realizing and all they ever do is criticize females. I see it everyday. I definitely know tons of men are trash, they have other common traits that are horrible and so many degrading traits that only effect women, and that’s exactly why they continue to do it. Because they will never understand. I will never understand why men have such weak minds and such horrible egos, they are so disrespectful towards women it disgusts me as a teenage girl. Growing up with male friends and guys on the web, I’ve cried a few occasions because of how trash men are towards our gender for what reason. Idk, they’re extremely toxic when it comes to involving girls into their mouths, atleast the majority. Not all but very very very much many
ENNY • Jan 7, 2022 at 7:54 PM
Love every single sentence you wrote!
SmarterThenYou • May 3, 2022 at 9:50 PM
Hahaha are you serious. It’s sad you can’t even realize that everything you are saying can literally be also put down on things some women do as well. You don’t think girls aren’t toxic towards guys, esp ones they don’t find interesting or attractive. Then you have the ones that like to play with their food and will torment a guy who likes them for kicks. Women using children as leverage against their fathers. You can see “all that men do” apparently but are blind to the girls right next to you doin the same shit, then your incredibly naïve. Wanna talk about ego’s let’s look at how girls will mentally tear each other down, even to the point of suicide, over a boy they may both like. I think you need to grow a bit and experience what the world is actually like past your social groups and high school buddies before you weigh in on actual life experience.
Arthur • Aug 24, 2022 at 12:25 PM
You have a good point, but the damage a man can do to a woman is brutal compared to the damage a woman can do to a man. For example, women in my country usually die after being physically or sexually assaulted by men. Men, on the other hand, die from joining gangs, traffic accidents or illnesses.
But I would love for feminist movements to recognize that women also have misogynistic attitudes and thoughts. The problem should be combated at the societal level.
Have you used the words slut or whore to describe a promiscuous woman? Men do not have pejorative terms of the same magnitude when we are promiscuous. I’ve been called a womanizer, that’s all. I don’t understand why society wants women to be morally correct, lol.
Bro, I assure you that if I upload a semi-nude photo to instagram, my classmates will not react badly. If I were a woman, they would call me a prostitute, hoe, etc.
Kim • Jul 24, 2021 at 7:04 AM
If you think that this isn’t hugely prevalent, you are most likely a male that is deemed equal in the eyes of the perpetrators addressed in this article. You would be surprised at what a large majority of men will say or do when they are interacting with a female that they view as lesser or meek. Yes, even the “good” ones have an underlying belief that women are there for their entertainment and distraction.
Michael • Jun 7, 2021 at 6:50 AM
I got dress-coded multiple times instead of just following the rules. Why? Because I’m a woman and think I should be invincible to retributiibbir criticism.
Rikki Slonce • Jun 1, 2022 at 8:17 PM
Dress codes, unless for safety reasons, are essentially just excuses for grown men (teachers and officials) to sexualize underage girls and tell the boys that they can do the same. Dress codes with reason are fine, but women, especially WOC and curvy women get dress coded for literally just existing.
I got dress-coded when I was 12 for wearing bike shorts with flowers on them because they were 1 cm too short. That’s not reasonable, it’s sexualizing a CHILD.
You're a misandrist • Apr 16, 2021 at 3:17 AM
Frankly, if you think all men believe this it leads me to think that you’ve never seen a man before; you have just read about them in your feminist literature. Seriously, go have some conversations with actual men, instead of assuming 50% of the population to be misogynist trash.
Lina • Feb 21, 2022 at 12:44 AM
Yes, she’s likely never met a man. That’s it. Let’s speak condescendingly to her to prove how wrong she is. That won’t identify us as EXACTLY THE TYPE OF MAN SHE’S TALKING ABOUT at all.
Mario Rodgers • Apr 28, 2022 at 12:04 PM
But don’t you see you feminists have us in a double bind? You paint negative stereotypes about a whole gender. We don’t complain and our silence proves your point. We DO complain and our anger proves your point.
Arthur • Aug 24, 2022 at 12:27 PM
As a father I have made the mistake of teaching my daughter how not to be raped, but I have never told my son that he should respect women.
Rikki Slonce • Jun 1, 2022 at 8:18 PM
Queen. I love your comment.