Recovering people-pleaser

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Just like everyone else, I spent my time with acquaintances, taking classes, joined clubs and playing sports. As I got older, these obligations started to pile up higher than I could reach.

Classes got harder, boys got cuter, girls got meaner, and reputations became a priority. So there I was — juggling college classes, a demanding relationship, typical drama, and my small-town reputation…. Then I moved off to a university where all those things were accompanied with the stress of moving towns, making new friends, joining a sorority and working with The Wichitan staff.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved each of these things whole-heartedly. I loved them all so much that I was always dedicating too much time, in too many places, for too many people. My favorite activities became mundane, and I lost the feeling of how excited they used to make me feel.

My favorite activities and people eventually became obligations. I was an over-active people-pleaser and I was getting exhausted from it.

Unexpectedly, I quit being involved in all of them. I thought that taking myself out of these environments would make me feel better, but in turn, it made things worse. Taking this break made me realize that pushing myself has brought me some of the best people I never knew I needed. They were the people who were there to support me, even in my absence.

Living for those around you is not such a bad thing – it’s just exhausting. College is an exhausting environment in general, but it’s the people you spend your time with that make your efforts worth it. Being a part of a team, sorority, clubs and relationships can teach you more than expected. You learn how to be aware of others’ feelings, genuinely apologize when in the wrong, and how each one of your actions affect other people.

The moral to this is that it is okay to be a people-pleaser and to be involved in everything that makes you happy, just as much as it is to learn how to take a break from the crazy life you’ve created. We all live our lives in such a fast-paced manner that we forget to appreciate the amazing people and environment we’ve immersed ourselves in.

A special thanks to co-editor, Kristin Silva, for pushing me to do this. Thanks for bringing me back.

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