Consent is not as simple as yes or no

On Aug. 29, 2017, I was sexually assaulted by a guy I thought was into me. That’s usually how it goes.

Don’t get me wrong, people are drugged by strangers or taken from their homes, but for the most part, it’s someone you know, usually an acquaintance.

For the purpose of this article, we’ll call him David. David thought I was playing hard to get, maybe my shoving and pushing was a tease.

It wasn’t.

He didn’t acknowledge I wasn’t kissing him back. He didn’t realize I kept thinking, “maybe if I scream loud enough, someone would save me.” He only cared about what he wanted. 

Consent comes in more ways than one. It’s not just a yes or no. If a person seems unsure about becoming intimate, it means no. Or in my case, shoving, pushing and moving away, means no. If that person is drunk, it means no.

It doesn’t matter if that person agreed to come over or agreed to kiss you, if they decide they don’t want to anymore, it means no. The thing is, people don’t understand that sexual assault takes different forms. It can be rape, unwanted touching or forcing a person into sexual acts.

It’s a hard thing to go through. It’s something that no one should ever have to experience. I still find myself frozen in that bed, but today, I’m okay. Today, I can tell my story.

I didn’t want David to touch me. I didn’t consent to it, but he decided otherwise. If you’re struggling to find out if someone gave you consent, they didn’t.

Maria Gutierrez is a bilingual education senior.