We get it.  We are stinky.  We are intrusive.  We are slowly crystallizing our lungs into masses of hard, malignant waste.  We choose our own vices, and we know the repercussions. We are the villainous smokers of MSU.

Funny thing is, we have the “civil right” to make the decision to smoke for ourselves.  Or do we?

Both sides of the fence can make substantial arguments as to why we should have the freedom to choose whether or not to smoke on campus. Either way, when an institution makes the decision for us, where do we draw the line?

According to MSU administrators, the entire idea behind the smoking ban currently in effect is that we, as a student body and university community, should promote a “safe, healthy and pleasant environment.”

Let’s talk about safety for a moment.

As a smoker, and a respectful member of my student body, I am fully aware of the irritation and stench that is my presence on campus.

I would never go so far as to expect someone to tolerate me blowing smoke towards another person, or to even be standing within 20 feet of a building entrance while smoking.  It’s simply rude.

However, to say that I am infringing upon someone’s safety by keeping a careful distance away from buildings and other students when I have the need to smoke, is completely ludicrous.

Staff members removed the campus ashtrays in 2009.  Do administrators really think that students are going to either remain in their cars or avoid smoking on campus all together?  They won’t.

What you will find is that students will either use the nearest storm drain to discretely dispose of their cancer-sticks or furtively chuck them into the street or sidewalk.

I actually witnessed a student outside of Prothro-Yeager last week who decided to forgo any remotely safer options for which to extinguish his cigarette, and merely flicked the lit instigator directly at a trash can—full of trash.

As of yet, I haven’t found any reports of trash can fires, but I will not be surprised if and when it happens. According to the original smoking ban proposal, MSU would be the “only non-health institution in Texas that has a completely smoke-free campus.”

On a recent trip to Texas Christian University while attending my mother’s graduation, I noticed that in between each of the buildings on the main campus, there are designated smoking areas, roughly 20-50 feet from the entrances.

Apparently, God does not care if you develop lung cancer, as long as you stay a respectful distance away from fellow Bible-thumping non-smokers—and keep the tuition checks coming.

In return, a genuine belief in God would eliminate the fear of death and the smoking issue all together.  Therefore, in my opinion, smoking prohibitionists must be godless atheists (insert ‘winking’ emoticon here).

So why does MSU feel that we, as students, need to “promote” this pipe-dream of safety and “health” and why is the only target the smokers?

Is the administration actually trying to convert the smokers into a lifestyle that they really might choose not to take part in?  It seems like the real “promotion” is that if you do not adhere to an idealistic image of what MSU considers acceptable behavior, then you don’t fit in here.

As a self-proclaimed pessimist, I will be the first to agree that the agenda here is not completely motivated by the desire of the administration to better the health of its student body and faculty, but rather, to better “promote” itself as a university not marred by the “taboo” of smoking.

Will we ban the use of overly-applied perfume and cologne in the classroom?  What will the standards be for the level of “stench” in that case?  Ladies and gentlemen, we have probably all been privy to an allergy attack after obtaining a whiff of the newest, most trendy, bottled fart.

On a more serious note, if we want to talk about air quality, why aren’t we all required to park at least 20-50 feet from any building entrance?  I’ll let you conduct your own research on fuel emissions and the harmful chemicals that they crank out right into your front door on campus.

One of the most detrimental chemicals in cigarette smoke is carbon monoxide.  Why do you think that we have been fortified, from birth, not to sit in a garage with the car running?

Before everyone panics, let me be clear that if I were literally able to grind-out a cigarette, then wash my hands of the addiction at the push-of-a-button, I would.

Try taking the last cup of coffee in a staff lounge of caffeine-addicted colleagues, and you’ll find out exactly what I mean.

And smokers, if you must continue to smoke on campus, don’t ruin it for the rest of us.  Be mindful of your fellow students.  Stay away from the entrances to buildings.  Don’t litter.

If someone asks you to put out your cigarette or to move further away from the entrance to a building, do it.  What doesn’t affect you, can and sometimes will affect the health and environment of others.

With that said, I’m going to have a smoke.  But don’t worry – I’m at home in the privacy of my own repulsiveness.