I’m from Guam, a tiny island in the Pacific. Having lived in Asia and Europe, I wanted to share some things I’ve learned about people and myself.

Racism. I was 10-years-old when I had my first experience with it. Old enough to remember what actually occurred. My classmate (who was white) had a birthday party, and some friends asked me to go. My friend Anicia, who was from Taiwan, also came along.

I remember my classmate’s house being filled with people, laughter and food. We were having a good time playing games in her room, while the adults hung out in the living room. When her mother came to check on her, she became aware of Anicia’s and my presence. After a private talk with the birthday girl, she asked us to leave. No one else was asked to leave. I remember the stares and the silence. I felt so embarrassed. I was very confused. It wasn’t until I was much older that I understood what happened that day. Although I was only 10-years-old, I have carried that feeling of confusion within me all of my life.

No one can escape those who have preconceived ideas about others that make them fearful or hateful of them. If it’s not my skin color, then there’s a problem with my nationality, or my economic status, or my educational background, or my religious and political affiliations. There’s always some reason to dislike another. For whatever reason, people build barriers in their minds about others, knowing full well they are doing so with little knowledge.

I found a way to turn that embarrassing day into a lesson, albeit, much later in life. Instead of being bitter, I decided I would be a little bit kinder, a little bit friendlier, and a lot more knowledgeable about other cultures. We cannot change how other people think, but we can do something to fight this sort of ignorance. You can teach kids how to embrace cultural differences. We can use art to display different perspectives of beauty from around the world. We can create dialogue to discuss philosophies, similarities and differences.

The key is education. Not just from books. Books can only teach so much. Make the world your observatory and discover something new. Self-reflect. Because for anything truly positive to change, it must start within.

One of the nicest people I’ve ever met was a Muslim woman living in Germany who told me, “We are all the same. We pray differently, but we want the same things in life. We want peace and happiness.”

Melissa Laussmann is a graduate student.