I was 15 the first time I lit a cigarette. I was obviously underage and unaware of what consequences would follow. I was 15, a kid who wanted to fit in.

Monday was the last time I will ever light one again. 

Saturday, I made the choice to quit, and by Sunday I couldn’t move. I was constantly nauseous and craving a cigarette, and, yes, I lit one. 

Back to Monday, I lit what — I hope — will be my final cigarette at about 2 a.m. After I finished, I stood up and got so nauseous I almost immediately purged.

I want to sleep all the time. I feel like I can’t move. And worst of all, I feel numb.

I feel like dying, but I can’t decide if it’s the depression or the detoxification. 

I had “quit” an immeasurable amount of times over the past three years since I began. I couldn’t stop because I wasn’t ready to stop — all of my other attempts were what other people wanted. 

The reason I quit, and on my own terms is because, simply, I was tired. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t focus. Most importantly, I couldn’t enjoy things.

My plea to everyone reading is this: please, please, do not start smoking. 

I have never seen anyone seriously affected from smoking so I figured that nothing would happen to me. Turns out cancer isn’t the only bad thing you can get from smoking. 

Even though I don’t have a lot of time under my belt, I already feel better. My hope is that everyone who has ever smoked cigarettes will finally stop when they’re ready. 

I would never condone starting, but if you do, understand the consequences. Any non-smoker can preach terrifying statistics, and commercials terrify us by showing people paying for cigarettes with teeth and skin, but truly when you’re in the trap — all of that means nothing. 

If you are not ready to quit. Don’t. No, I’m being serious. You’re only hurting yourself. 

But it’s okay. You will survive, for now. 

If you decide to quit my advice for stopping is this: gather some friends to help hold you accountable that you can call when you want a cigarette, and will put up with your attitude. Secondly, don’t try to taper off. Just stop. Tapering off will only make your body think that you’re still in it for the long haul. Finally, replace the addiction. I’ve replaced mine with studying and working out — mostly for personal reasons — but chewing gum or vaping are good replacements as well. 

Dewey Cooper is a mass communication sophomore.