Halloween is a great excuse to look absolutely ridiculous, irresistibly sexy, and in some cases a little bit slutty.

It’s Halloween, why not look like a prostitute? Oh wait, since it’s Halloween that means it’s just called “cute” and “sexy” instead. My bad.

There is a fine line between “sexy” and “five-dolla-make-you-holla.”

It seems as though Halloween night is the perfect excuse to let some body parts hang out, and I’m not talking about a little bit of side-boob, either.

I’m talking full-blown boobie overflow, under-boob, and butt cheeks.

Sure, butt-cheeks-meet-legs is super sexy when it’s Natalie Portman posing for Maxim, but when a college girl wearing next-to-nothing goes to a party with an enormous crowd of her peers, the look is undoubtably inappropriate.

What is it that makes women squeeze themselves into these shards of clothing and actually go out in public? Is it the immense amounts of alcohol that goes along with Halloween parties? Is it the hope that because the lights are down low that nip-slip she keeps adjusting in the mirror before the party won’t be noticeable?

Either way, it’s far from classy. Your butt cheeks hanging all over the place when your costume is riding up is not cute.

What happened to the days where Halloween costumes were creative and interesting? I don’t know how many more Halloweens I can take seeing five sets of nearly-naked Bavarian beer girls, sexy pilots, and Strawberry Shortcakes.

That drunk guy across the way isn’t going to realize that the girl he was just talking to in the police officer costume isn’t the same one he’s striking up conversation with now.

If that’s what the girls with  their boobs hitting their faces are going for, so be it. Not much I can do about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against sexy or revealing costumes. But it really makes a difference when it’s easy to tell if the costume a girl is wearing is a few sizes too small.

I used to be an athlete. I used to have lean legs, slender but muscular arms, and I was hinting at a six-pack on my good days. Unfortunately I don’t hold that shape any longer.

I have a less than fit tummy and I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m not going to wear something that reveals my bad spots. I’m not going to show off any “bulgy” spots that may be hiding in places I don’t pay much attention to.

It pains me to see girls who are wearing a costume that would be sexy if it were the right size. It’s totally okay to not show the world your lady-parts, even if it is Halloween.

I know women say “I am confident enough to show off my body and I don’t have a problem with someone seeing my bum, cleavage or tummy.”

I also hear “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to look. Their opinion is nothing to me.”

That’s great. But one day when you’re looking for a job and a potential employer browses your Facebook page do you really want them to see how great your boobs looked in that Little-Bo-Peep outfit?

Go ahead and be sexy. It’s okay. It’s the societal norm, but for goodness sake, be sexy in something that fits!