Should an individual (man or woman) find his or her self in the treacherous event of being raped, their life is immediately turned upside down. On top of feelings of guilt and anguish, the victim has to deal with inane questions like, “Well, what were you wearing?” Or, “How much did you have to drink,” as if somehow that is the reason a person who couldn’t control themselves attacked an innocent human being. Our culture has a fixation on victim bashing more than holding the perpetrator accountable for their heinous actions. Instead of saying someone shouldn’t have taken advantage of an unwilling participant’s body, we say, “Well, so and so shouldn’t have been out late,” or “they should have worn something else.”
In classroom settings where the subject has come up, I’ve noticed people sometimes struggle with comprehending what rape is. To me, rape is forcing yourself upon an individual who says “no.” I mean, drunk or not, fully clothed or butt naked – that does not give someone consent to move forward with unwanted sexual actions.
According to Texas statutes (22.011), sexual assault, forcible rape, is defined as intentionally or knowingly:
- causing the penetration of the anus or sexual organ of another person by any means, without that person’s consent;
- causing the penetration of the mouth of another person by the sexual organ of the actor, without that person’s consent; or
- causing the sexual organ of another person, without that person’s consent, to contact or penetrate the mouth, anus, or sexual organ of another person, including the actor.
It is evident that rape is forced sexual intercourse. No one can argue that.
If only things were that simple. Just look at mainstream media — especially with athletes. Whenever a woman accuses an athlete of raping her, the public and media almost instantaneously persecute her and say something along the lines of “well, she’s just looking for an easy pay out.”
Rape victims are essentially going on trial — their life is examined with a magnifying glass and often times, this is the reason so many victims stay silent. It’s embarrassing. And it shouldn’t be. If I have slept with one or 100 partners, and that 101st partner was unwanted, it should not be my fault. I should not be referred to as easy or asking for it because of past interactions. But, this always happens in court, victim’s lives are scrutinized from top to bottom — when really it should be the other way.
Referencing back to rape and athletes, the case of Beckett Brennan was heartbreaking. Long story short: After one of the accused basketball players, Steffan Johnson, was expelled from University of the Pacific for sexual assault, he was handed a full scholarship to the University of Idaho just three months after an expulsion due to sexual assault.
Our culture is unfortunately, that of a rape culture. We practically condone this sort of thing. The 2013 summer anthem, “Blurred Lines” was played on every radio station from here to Timbuktu, but if you listen to the lyrics, not just the catchy beat, you can’t help but feel a little dirty.
I don’t know about anyone else, but when a man whispers “I know you want it,” in my ear, I think, “Where is my pepper spray?”
When asked about the video and song, Robin Thicke said in a GQ interview, “We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, ‘We’re the perfect guys to make fun of this.’”
So, what we are saying here is that if you are married and allegedly respect women, you can disrespect women.
The subject of a rape culture is one that can’t be summarized in a paragraph, a page or even a novel. It’s in depth. But the point is that anyone can see how rapists receive a metaphorical green light. The media sends out confusing messages which only adds to the problem.
We can reference our society and see that it is much easier to place blame than to figure out why these things happen. It’s much easier to blame the victim — the person who just went through the unimaginable.
