Story by Jesse Blume
For the Labor Day weekend, I decided to go home and visit my family in Dallas. It had been a long while since I’d last seen them. The summer had rewarded me in many ways, but only after a great deal of work and frustration, and I could use the R&R.
I’d eaten very poorly throughout the entire summer thanks to fast food restaurants and my own amateur cooking, and I couldn’t wait for a good home-cooked meal!
That Friday started off very well. I woke up early and made it to class on time, and I felt that I’d done well on my first test for Interpersonal Communication. As soon as we were dismissed from class, I was practically in my car and ready to head home.
My tank was full, and I had a great playlist ready on my iPod. I’d spent some time the night before filling it with great rock and roll songs specifically suited for driving.
All the essentials were there. Van Halen, AC/DC, Sammy Hagar, Bruce Springsteen, Metallica, Bob Seger, and plenty of others.
I set it on shuffle, and let my own personal radio station surprise me with what came up next.
Overall the drive went very well. My fellow drivers on the road weren’t too stupid or unreasonable; I didn’t pass too many skunks; and thankfully, the highway troopers completely ignored my expired inspection sticker in favor of chasing the bigger law-breakers and speed demons!
Although those horrible road obstacles passed me by, the biggest monster of them all did not.
Before I could arrive home, I had to face one of the most horrible, repulsive, and infuriating things the modern world had to offer: Traffic!
Not just any traffic, mind you, but I-35 West Traffic!
Then I-820 after that, which is even worse!
Driving down either of those two roads is like playing bumper cars in a river of half-frozen molasses!
In retrospect, I might have been able to advance a few levels in Angry Birds while sitting there! (I didn’t try that, nor do I recommend you to.)
Of course, nothing in the modern world will ruin a good mood faster than bad traffic.
As soon as that long line of cars came into view, I began to scowl.
Then my iPod decided to adopt a rather evil sense of humor!
Out of nowhere, it started to play the best songs on the driving play list at the most inconvenient and ironic time.
“Highway to Hell?” More like slow boat to Hell!
Metallica’s “Fuel?” Well, I was certainly wasting it!
“I Can’t Drive 55?” Yes, but for all the wrong reasons!
All my favorite speeding-ticket songs were playing, and I could not do them justice!
Then Ozzy Osbourne’s signature song, “Crazy Train,” came on.
At first, this did nothing at all to me.
But then, with nothing better to do, I listened to the lyrics.
“Crazy, but that’s how it goes / Millions of people living as foes. / Maybe it’s not too late / to learn how to love and forget how to hate.”
With those last few phrases in my mind, I couldn’t help but feel a little foolish.
I was stuck in a traffic jam.
So what?
At least I had a car that I could drive home to see my family with!
Life wasn’t that bad, and my destination wasn’t any more important than anyone else’s.
Life in America has gotten a lot faster over the years, but we don’t need to let it turn us into jerks.
We can take little things like bad traffic.
It was only a few minutes later when I realized what had happened to me.
I said aloud to my empty car, “Wait a minute! Did I just find Inner Peace from OZZY OSBOURNE?! The Prince of Darkness? The guy who bit the head off of a bat?! That guy calmed me down?!”
The only response I could give myself was laughter, and I didn’t stop until I rolled into my driveway!