The Wichitan

Language department to add Parseltongue

Caleb Martin

April 5, 2017

Filed under Guest Column, Op-Ed, Satire

SATIRE Students are lining the halls and sidewalks of Bea Wood, like squatters on Black Friday outside a Best Buy, to register for the language department's newest course: Parseltongue. The line of more than 90 students formed at 5 a.m. the day aft...

War hero to be new provost

Caleb Martin

March 21, 2017

Filed under Guest Column, Op-Ed, Satire

SATIRE The provost task force is pleased to announce they have found a "well-rounded and overqualified" candidate to take on the job as provost and vice president of academic affairs. The task force has picked Anakin Skywalker, who prefers to be called ...

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