As I walk into the student center I can already feel it coming. As the crowds build my breathing becomes uneasy. The people at the booths are going to talk to me. It’s okay. The lines at Chick-fil-a are long and are blocking the walk way.

My heart begins to race uncontrollably.

I am going to have to break through it.

I really don’t want to be in the way. Maybe I’ll just turn around, go home, and stay in bed for the rest of the day.

Breathe, keep walking, and you’ll be okay.

I break through the crowds quietly apologizing. A few of the people working at the booths say hello and hand me a flyer as my heart rate slows back down.

This isn’t just a one-time thing. This happens on a daily basis.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, I am not alone. There are 40 million others who are like me in the United States. Being a woman, I am actually more prone to anxiety and depression. The U. S. spends $42 billion a year on anxiety disorders alone, individual costs include health care services, research and treatments.

The best solution I have found for my anxiety and depression is completely free: Talk to someone about it.

In high school, no one knew what I was going through. I thought I was completely alone.

I’d walk the crowded halls and be screaming so loud in my head there would be times where I’d have to run to the bathroom and have to calm myself down. It got to the point where there would be days where I didn’t want to leave my bed. I didn’t want any human contact. I was afraid that other people were going to think that I was insane and that what I was going through wasn’t normal.

Shopping for shoes is what made me decide I had to break through my fear and tell someone.

I had found a pair of shoes, but I couldn’t find them in my size. Just as I was about to ask one of the workers if they had any of the shoes in the back, it felt like my heart dropped.

I couldn’t breathe.

My sisters got frustrated with me because I wanted to leave. I didn’t care about the shoes anymore. I could feel the tears coming. My mom didn’t understand. No one did. I ended up crying right in the middle of the store, which brought complete embarrassment. I ended up leaving without the shoes, but I knew I needed to speak up.

Speaking up about my anxiety and depression had an instant relief for me. It allowed me to learn that I wasn’t the only person with it which made me feel more human. It became a therapy for me. Instead of feeling so ashamed of my panic attacks, freak-outs, and random burst of tears, I could be open about my disorder. My family and friends were able to find ways to help me out, too.

I still deal with my anxiety on a daily basis. It is the shadow that will never go away, but I learned to not be afraid of it. Now that I have been open about it, each breath is easier.